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Okay, these are just few thoughts of mine that translated into a short note a while ago about friendship and romantic relationship that often tends to lead to marriage. I believe there is a thin line between what we call friendship and romantic relationship. I don’t know if the term “romantic relationship” is correct but I hope it communicates what I intend communicating because these things have broader definitions. Relationship is broad as friendship, brotherhood, parenthood and much more including business colleagues falls into it. I also believe there is a display of decent and what I regard as “Lite-romance” in every thriving relationship. To be caring is romance for me… Romance is not always the kissing and touching which sometimes are simply displays sponsored by lost. So I prefer to have what I call “Lite-Romance” which is that simple display of affection in thriving relationships and the proper “Romance” or maybe “Exclusive-Romance” meant for someone who means much more than what others mean in a deeper way. Yes, for me there is a boundary only one person in my life can cross with me. My heart isn’t big enough to harbour two persons or more in that space.
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Okay… On to the main thing that made me decide to get this note to you.
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Until we are able to understand the difference between “friendship” & “romantic relationship”… We may not always make a good headway. ” You are my friend, I love you” doesn’t necessarily mean we’re into what we know as romantic relationship with intent of marriage. Love is meant to be shared to everyone but there are levels of commitment you don’t give to everyone. Although, I am one of those careful persons who isn’t vocally generous with my “I love you” or even any reminder that you’re my friend, if we are friends, we know we are friends. I always reserve some very special words and treatments for “the best” because when the purpose of a thing isn’t known, abuse is inevitable. So, I try not to give room for abuse and unfaithfulness.
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I believe people’s commitment to you in friendship is based on the value they place on you. On most cases, your value in a friendship is dependent on your commitment to that friendship. I don’t give everyone same chances, I don’t put everyone on same space because if I do, i am unfaithful to those who deserve it by merit and those whom I have awarded it to. Everyone has a place they belong and I try never to let anyone cross the boundaries they’re not worth! I said somewhere that my own regard to this thing called “best friend” is not based on selection but on merit. You don’t become my best friend because you’re beautiful or intelligent… It is earned! Who I regard as best friend is one who offers me the best of friendship from the rest! So, I don’t wake up one day and say “I like this guy, I think he should be my best friend”… No… Even if I would want anyone to occupy that space, all I could do is give you opportunity to be the best, if we’re good to go, we sure know we’re good! This is what happens when people intentionally start up friendships! They’re on a test ground to see what they can offer each other. I know about few persons who have walked up to me to say ” I really like you and want us to be friends” I know we tried to be but I can’t say I am friends with any of them now because we didn’t pass the test of time.
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Again, let me remind you… There is a difference between ” friendship” and “romantic relationship”. However, the best of relationship you would have especially as regards to marriage is when your best friend is your spouse! I think it makes a blockbuster ” LOVE STORY”. A genuine love that stands the test of time and will always stand! Not the Romeo & Juliet model which at its best is a glorification of infatuation. Romeo & Juliet didn’t kill themselves for love, they died out of sheer ignorance… Even the author doesn’t know this.
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#GracefulGeorge

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