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There were times I would be praying in tongues, studying the word and even preaching the gospel and I am sure I can’t feel God any where near me. Those times, I would be struggling to make sense, I would be fighting within me to stir up my emotions but I know I just can’t feel God and then the question “is these things real?” Would start sounding louder in my head. It’s not as though whether I feel it or not, God isn’t there but I want to feel it! I want to confidently and boldly declare that His presence is heaven to me. At those times, testimonies don’t sound convincing to me and no matter how high someone sounds with the revelation of the word, I still feel empty!
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Well, I found out what my problem was! I had allowed the activities of life, the busyness of being an administrative leader and the worries of life to get at me. I discovered I have filled my mind with worries of how to get funds for that crusade, how to get funds to put my programs on TV, how to get funds for that evangelical project and many other things which were nice projects but wrongly prioritized. If God had truly given me an assignment, then He should see to the provisions and my role is just to start doing what He asked me to do! Many times, the devil want to use the beautiful things we are doing for God to bridge the flow of communication between us and God! He does it that way because he knows it would be difficult for us to notice what he is doing since we are still obviously busy with the kingdom work.

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In one of the youth ministries I served, the director who handed over to me called me by the side and said to me “brother, don’t make the mistake I made. I was busy for the ministry but I still never had time in two years for God! I was busy planning programs and running around for funds and never found a single time to study and pray!”. I have seen people receive an assignment from God but they still trust in other things to make the assignment work! Because of the responsibilities they added to themselves, they start loosing out. You mustn’t do that big project unless you’re sure God instructed you to! 

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God may be promoting you to start something, you already had the resources to start doing it but you just want to do it in a big way! Did God ask you to do it in a big way? He is the one to make it big and not you! Because you want to make it big in your own way, you start looking for other means that aren’t even approved by God to do them! When I got the leading to organise certain programs for ladies, I didn’t start projecting a thousand audience, I knew where God was leading me to and I just had to follow! I didn’t need to get some big names to feature so that I can have overflow! I didn’t bother myself with things I didn’t have, I just obeyed and started it! I only had 50 persons in mind and it was awesome with just 50 persons… It was stress free and it didn’t take away the time I have for God! One of the ways I know it’s God who leads me into doing certain things is when I see Him make it what He wants it to be. Because I am concerned about Him and not about my achievements and fame, I tend to listen to Him and follow Him instead of listening to my own self! This way, I still pay attention to God’s leading and no matter how little those things are, I see Him in it! This is why you wouldn’t see my planning programs I cannot fund! If God gives me a million dollar project, He should be sure there is a million dollar somewhere for the project! I care less what others think but this is how it has been for me and sometimes I see people just walk up to me to support what I do even without me writing to them. Why am I saying this? I just want to point out that people start feeling dryness when they busy themselves doing great things God haven’t assigned to them and they also sacrifice their relationships with God, thinking on ways to meet up.

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Another way to start feeling dryness and away from God’s presence is to think that we’ve known it all. Many times, we feel we’ve known all of God and there is nothing more to be known about Him. In this way, we are reconditioning ourselves to stop thirsting for more! Those who thirst for more of Him are those who are truly filled because they are still open to God’s move! We don’t need to get so familiar with God’s move that nothing surprises us about Him anymore! John saw an Angel at the Island of Patmos and almost worshipped the Angel because he experienced what he has never experienced before! How much more when we have the experience of God made manifest!

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Those who feel they’ve known it all have shut themselves from the progressive revelation of Jesus. Since they think they’ve known it all, they gradually begin to feel less of God’s presence because they’ve suddenly stopped thirsting for more.

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We don’t need to study the word and meditate on it just to confirm what we know, we have to do it with a hunger for more revelation of Jesus, in this way we are opening ourselves to be receptive of what the Holy Spirit is doing inside of us. Again, we must consciously cultivate that hunger for Him!

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One more thing I have discovered is that we need to be Jesus-driven rather than purpose driven! Those who are driven by purpose are simply bent on making impact which isn’t terrible but not wise! Their hunger is simply to make impact and reach the whole world! It’s not bad to be purpose driven but when you’re purpose driven just for self, you’ll miss it. Why? You’ll discover that all you are doing is to prove who you are, to prove you are strong, popular and gifted! But when you’re driven by passion for Jesus, you’ll discover that whatever purpose you’re fulfilling is for His name sake! This is where you discover that you’re not being controlled by your love for fame but by your love for Him! In this way, you’re more concerned about Him and you’ll never run dry of Him. He can ask you to do odd things and you obey but a person who isn’t Jesus-driven is only bent on building personal capacity and that’s all! This is where I seem to have problems with motivational speakers! Many people build capacity on things that has no eternal value but truly miss it on things that has to do with eternity! 

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One of the ways I had revived my fellowship with God was to sincerely kneel before God! I can’t do it through soft music, I can’t do it through forcing tears out of my eyes… It’s not just about emotions! It’s something that needs to register in my consciousness. I would kneel before God in sincerity and identify how I’ve missed it, I ask for an experience and start to magnify Him! I start to sing to His praises, sing love songs to Him and pray in the Spirit even when I feel nothing! Because I have identified what really distracted me from God, it’s easy for me to really get connected in my consciousness not because God is far away but because I am the one who really went far in my mind and then, I am the one who can also get my mind fixed back on Him!

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Let God matter to you! Even in your relationship with people, let God matter! It makes you get Him involved! When God is just all-over all you do, you can’t miss a trace of Him. God bless you!

#GracefulGeorge

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