Share

I am writing this because I want to score a point, you’ll get to know the goal I am playing to score by the time you are done going through this little craft. I have always wanted to indite on this subject for a long time but two things would usually and unrepentantly crawl into my mind, first was people’s usual manner making things an object of derision simply because they feel everyone is as guilty as them in the crime of ‘seeking unnecessary attention’ and the second is the impression it would create. Yes, there is always this impression people have about you when you talk about yourself, they think you are either proud or you just want to claim who you are not. Someone had brought up a questionnaire to me some time ago and said “who do you even think you are? Who wants to read about you?” I smiled and responded in a way that hurt his ego, I said to him “I don’t write for people to read, I write because people are reading. As I am talking to you, people are waiting for another drop of my handy-vocabs. If it is one person that picks up interest, then I have reached one soul”

:

I am deliberately starting this way because I want to demolish the mountains of delusions right before you begin to see them erupt in your way down this writing. This is not an advertorial for ladies in a bid to make them come for me thinking I can love them more than any other guy has done, well… I may be the guy you never wished for if you come close. You may like stuffs I don’t like and I may like stuffs that you don’t life… I don’t actually live a normal life. Consider George taken for now, my heart belongs somewhere somehow. Okay, now I can confidently proceed to talking about CRAZY LOVE.

:

Since my secondary school days when my body started responding to reactions and my system started getting ready for expressions, I have wanted to be in love with certain people or rather I have been in love with certain people while they have never been in love with me. We call it crush, mehn… I was crushed! I was not privileged to enjoy some level of intimacy with anyone because I only stood from afar crushing on someone but never had the audacity to own up to what I was feeling even when red lights were flashing everywhere. I only had two relationships till 2012 or thereabout when I decided to get off the field for some time.  

:

For just being my crush one is automatically entitled to my heart in its entirety to the point that I get lost thinking about that person. Her picture forms in my head that everywhere I look, I see her. I could write about those fantasies, write her name of my palm, and use her picture on as my wallpaper and screensaver without her knowing it. She would just dominate every space in me and yet never know someone is dying for her.  If she mistakenly ever ask for my favor, I do it extravagantly without remorse. If I was a “tattoo person”, it would have shown on my body.

:

I was the kind that would use the last note on my wallet to put a smile on your face if you’ve taken over my heart and go home on foot dancing along the road. I was like that crazy lover who would climb the palm tree to tap the last palm wine for his lover and never have a taste of it. Even if I couldn’t swim and she is been drowned, I will surely save her and perhaps never end up saving myself.  This is the extent I could go for someone I love. No spell or prayers are strong enough to get me out of those charms, once I am in, I am in. The only thing that gets me out is if she decides to start giving me very deliberate and silly attitudes without repentance or if she wants to quit. I was the type that will fall in love with a pregnant single mother and never remember that it wasn’t us that did the work which resulted to the protruding belly. If I ever love you, I just love you like that.

:

To myself, I am not always generous. Just to cut down spending, I may decide to buy a liter of Coca-Cola and serious loaf of Bread and eat it for two days if I am out of home where I eat ‘mama thank ma’. But once I am in love and that craze is activated, I can make sure my lover lacks nothing, I mean nothing! If she ever has a need that I cannot provide for then it means I don’t have it. You want to know how crazy I become when I am in love? It’s beyond the craze of those people with mental insanity… Extravagant is just a word, I am more than that when I am in love.

:

The nights… Oh the nights…  I can stay awake all night as I wait to hear from her if she didn’t pick my call in the day. This is something I couldn’t control about myself and to some moment I became very afraid. After my last relationship around 2011 and 2012, I decided to switch off! I wanted to know what was wrong with me, I wanted to deal with myself but it was just something that was inborn. I succeeded in dealing with jealousy; I succeeded in dealing with always wanting to see my partner… I never succeeded in dealing with curtailing how I express myself. I lack expressions except when I am in a relationship with someone who is comfortable around me. I know I am loved but I still don’t hesitate in loving back. I am just a crazy lover that can be lost in love when I am in one.

:

I thought it was a peculiar issue for me until I realized that many of us are that way! When we meet that person who melts our heart, we remain turned on; we become immersed in love that no one can hold us back. I see mothers have serious issues with their daughters concerning their choice of marriage and the daughter decides to estrange herself from home just because of love, I have seen fathers and sons quarrel just for love and I have seen best friends fight just for love… I still have my reservations about how I define love but I want to use this general understanding of love to score a point as regards to my view on how much we have made mess of our relationship with God.

:

I used what we feel when we are in a relationship to paint a picture, love melts the heart to the core. This is what our relationship with God should also be like, people who are rigid towards their relationship with God may have knowledge of who God is as revealed in the scriptures but they do not truly have flare for God. I don’t know why I can’t be more romantic with God; I don’t know what will make tears not to drop down my eyes when I am lost in the worship of our God. While human relationships get more of our fleshy desires because we are humans and we relate well to what we see, our relationship with God gets to the Spirit and reflects on the outside. During those times when I sing songs or read words that brings a mental picture of God and draws His presence into reality to extent that I can feel it, I don’t mind how I act… I just act how I can. I can fall down on my knees, I can cry and roll on the floor, and I can just be anyhow not minding who is looking at me and who is not looking at me. It’s not because I am trying to show off something but I can’t just resist it. I am not a mechanical worshipper.

:

When I hear the words of God coming directly to me, I don’t know how it happens because at that moment I don’t even think of anything else, I can dip hand in my pocket and release everything in them. I am not doing so because I was asked to do it; I am doing so for two reasons… I do it because I just want to release that thing in my pocket that is giving me hope; I want to focus more on God. I don’t do it deliberately; it’s like a reflex action for me. I am not doing it to seal those words or to claim those words; I am doing it because I heard words of love that melts my heart. You can’t get me to give when you are raising funds unless I want to partner with your project, but when my soul has been lifted in a way that God’s presence has been made manifest to me, I just feel very relaxed and very wealthy!  Instead of letting that money in my pocket remind me of things I needed to do if it were complete, I give it up and hinge my trust in God.

:

We love God because He first loved us, how does it happen? Is it everyone who knows that God loves them loves Him back? No! They are aware that God loves them even if they don’t love Him back and they decide not to love Him back. They are full of knowledge and that’s where there interest is always hinged. Knowledge is good but beyond knowledge there are depths of God you cannot touch if you are not lost in Him. Why I had to narrate what happens to me when I am in love is to show you that a man in love with God can be crazy for God! Only a man in love with God can be sold out to God.

:

When you meet a man who is in love with God beyond the senses, that love of God in Him flows down to how he relates with other people. We have many people who are  labouring but they are not labouring in love, they are busy with just raising people after themselves, they have attitude issues when it comes to relating with other people and they are always puffed up and arrogant because they feel they have so much knowledge. Before God, they are not broken and they can even tell God “you are no longer God alone… We are God together”… That is arrogance! For people who are emotional about God, knowledge humbles them the more and they bow down and worship the more. It can be seen in other forms of relationships and it can be seen in our dealings with people.

:

When Elijah Oyelade was singing “take me to the place where you are”, he wasn’t making mockery of the fact that we are already seated with God on the throne, he wasn’t making mockery of those realties, I guess he was only saying “God, all these things we know about our place in you, I want to feel it… I want to feel you… I want a deeper revelation of where I am in you”. When Sinach was singing “I want more of you”, she was not saying God is limiting himself from us, she was only telling God “I love you so much, I want the revelation of you more and more” . When Paul said “I pray that the eyes of your understanding be opened” he was saying so because it is through revelation that people can grasp the realities of what we have in Christ and who we are in Christ. When Paul asked them to grow in grace, he never meant that we have just little grace; he was simply asking them to yearn for more knowledge of God’s grace… To deliberately seek it at all times.

:

If I cannot be broken before God, if I cannot bow down in the realities of God’s love and who He has made me out of His love and mercy, then I have not realized how much God loves me. Love naturally melts the heart, sometimes you need to shut down all you know and remain calm before God, just keep quiet and listen. People who are emotional about God don’t need persuasion to lift their hands in worship. No wonder the Angels bow down every moment to worship God! This is because the awesome nature of God surprises them every moment.

:

Yes, I am a rugged Christian… My faith in God cannot be shaken. But I am not a rigid Christian. I allow my emotions to flow and I allow my heart to soften… I allow tears to flow; I allow my knees to shake.  This is because I feel the romance between DIVINITY and HUMANITY at that moment… And I open my lips and begin to speak in words only God can hear for it is an intimate affair between just me and Him. What an intimacy? I am the SON and the BRIDE!

:

Crazily in love!

#GracefulGeorge

Related Post

Share

Let's Discuss it

Loading Facebook Comments ...
Loading Disqus Comments ...