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I was in an office to carry out certain services when I heard the office secretary say to her visitor “as a woman I am just here to pass away time and wait for that right man who will probably marry me and take care of me”. I got furious but I didn’t react. It was her fault; she grew up with a lie! Many people grew up with that lie! Some of these lies are even backed up with an out of the context quoted Bible verse. 

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One of these lies says that women are weaker vessels! That lie is usually credited to Saint Peter. But did he really say that? No! He said “treat your wife as unto the weaker vessel” and not “your wife is a weak vessel”.

He was only saying that husbands should treat their wives as a treasure! They should be handled in a fragile way. Besides, another name for women is not wives. Does that mean when a woman gets married she becomes weak? Peter wasn’t saying that! In fact a woman becomes stronger in marriage because she is coming to help the man out! Peter was talking to married men who maltreat their wives, he used a word they would understand better but never in any way labeled women as weaker vessels! In fact, he also called wives co-heirs with their husbands. Peter wouldn’t be dumb to call wives weaker vessels talk more of terming women in general as such because that will be a direct attack on the wisest quotes in Israel written before the coming of Jesus. The Bible says in Proverbs 31:17 “She is a hard worker, strong and industrious”.

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Unfortunately, lots of women are also champions of that lie! I don’t blame them because that is the idea they were raised with. The average African man has no regard for women. In Africa, a son of 15 is considered much more relevant than his sister who is probably 20. The son is trained to become a man of his own, to become fearless and to think out of the box but the daughter is always trained to serve the son, live in limitations and in the choice of others! She is not allowed to break out, become her own woman and break free from limitations! In a bid to breed loyal wives, parents end up breeding disloyal husbands since it seems the woman is the only one who needs to be loyal.

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As a result, the African woman grows up with limitations to what she can do, limitations to how she can think and she is left with just very few career choices that is considered “girly” and less creative. Truth is, no career is girly, and every career becomes “girly” when a woman is in-charge. To say that being “girly” means being “for the weak” is an idea of a destroyed human system! Africa is so full of it that women, who buy their own houses, have their own business and run their own initiative is still always considered abnormal or uncommon.  An average woman is limited to just being make-up artists, cake and snacks bakers, bead makers and other similar careers! They are just locked in the boundaries of fashion and snacks. Funny enough men are also competing with them in those areas!  What happened?  Men in Africa are trained with a mindset that they can do anything they want, they can aspire for greatness to any length but women? Their husband should determine how far they go! 

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What happens to ladies who fail matriculation exams for more than couple of times? They venture into becoming teachers and nurses! Not because these careers are terrible but because Africa has this wrong orientation that teaching and nursing is a soft work! Women venture into it without passion for it not knowing they are moving into a career they didn’t prepare for! Most nursing schools in Nigeria is filled with women, most school for teachers in Nigeria is filled with women and they don’t go to these schools to become the best but to get certified and be termed “educated wives” since marriage is the only hope for them.

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What happens to the passions and potentials of these women? It withers away because the environment around them doesn’t allow it to thrive! Why are men dominating every sector? Why does it seem men are more creative? Why does it seem men are in control of every sphere of life? Where are the women? Why is this limitation prevalent in Africa? It is the orientation problems we grew up with! 

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Queens Hangout is a George’s Diary project in partnership with other bodies committed to breaking these shackles of ignorance and limitations surrounding the young women. It is a program designed for every young women who still have great chances of learning something new, breaking out and thinking out of the box! It is also a place where young women are encouraged to enjoy who they are and see themselves as great people! We believe that women are royalties and can become whoever they choose to be! Here, we don’t encourage women to launch out competitions against the men but we encourage them to explore their own unique potentials! Being a woman doesn’t mean being limited, being a woman doesn’t make you achieve less, it makes you achieve a lot in your own way!

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We want to see women become very ambitious and yet very feminine! We want to see women achieve whatever they can think of and yet have great marriages! We don’t want women who will take the place of men… We want women who will take their own place! The place of the woman is not in the kitchen nor in the bedroom! A woman can reach any height she desires!

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At QUEENS HANGOUT… We are raising African women who will leave the maid office for the throne room!

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QUEENS HANGOUT is not a vision for an individual! It is part of a bigger vision, part of a bigger project and another way on saving our already moral decadent society! Yes…. A project of raising Godly, ambitious, strong and industrious beautiful women who are still women!

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#GracefulGeorge

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