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Hey! Just before you cheer me for wanting to marry; it should be on records that I opined that “wanting is usually meaningless”. Wanting to do something could still be as useless as wanting to do nothing because its either what we want to do isn’t the need of the moment or just an unrealistic fantasy. Maybe, in the coming lines, you might understand me or even get more confused.

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I have always said it is not wrong to desire marriage, it is not always wrong to want it because there is something God created inside each and every one of us that triggers us into wanting someone special to spend the rest of our life with. Although some allow those desires to be translated negatively, it is just inside every one of us.

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What happens to you when you watch or attend wedding of very young couples, probably couples of your age? What happens in your mind that moment the Pastor says to them “you may kiss your bride now”? What about those times of nuptial dance and other romantic things that happens at wedding parties? Doesn’t your body feel something? Yes… It does because you are wired to feel that way. Normally, in those times we wish we are the ones getting married and we all go home in enthusiasm, with a burning desire to make more money and perhaps find someone and marry.

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Well, it still boils down to that useless “want”! That we want to get married doesn’t mean we are supposed to be married by now, it doesn’t mean that what we need now is marriage, it only means that our emotions is playing out on us. It’s a good thing though but we must be very careful not to be guided by what we want. I think it’s necessary to know what we need and go for it.

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Are you a very young person? You may have wanted to get married like all of us do, you may have even desired and fantasized about who your husband or wife will look like, you may have always narrated how you will run your family… Yes, those things are good. They are precious things you can nurse in your heart and smile at yourself but never be guided by those fantasies! Identify your need and put your energy in it! If you are student, your academics needs you more, don’t be distracted by other things! If you are just starting of something, perhaps a little more attention to that thing will bring forth more results! Maybe, what you need now isn’t marriage but lessons… Perhaps you need to develop your personality the more.

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This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think about marriage, it doesn’t mean you should not speak good things about it but you must carefully identify your need and give it your attention before embarking on the next! Your wants may eventually become a necessity but before then do not ignore other things that needs your attention the more.

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It is like a secondary school boy thinking about a female classmate every night; he will perform poorly in school and eventually fail out! Yes, he thinks about her because he is wired to feel that attraction but wisdom entails that you give more attention to the relevant stuffs if you really want to succeed.

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In the Bible, God created both male and female (Genesis 1:27) but the female was not made manifest even when Adam felt lonely. He desired companionship but God gave him responsibilities instead (Genesis 2:18-19)! It was until he had given it his best shot, God brought to him Eve (Genesis 2:22)! (To understand better the concept of creation in Genesis, read my book, Dedicated to Women.) So, Adam wanted an intimate companionship, God even recognized his wants but God gave him responsibilities first! Adam needed to be responsible before he can need a wife! A wife is a helper and when the helped isn’t doing anything, what will the helper be doing? Nothing too! The potentials of a wife are best felt when her husband is responsible.

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So, we all would want to get married but we shouldn’t be carried away by fantasy! We must come back to the reality that an irresponsible man cannot manage a woman and a woman shouldn’t rush after irresponsibility else she murders her own abilities of being a help-meet.

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It is not wrong to think marriage. I do think about it a lot and when I do, I am only given a reason to be very responsible, not just in character but in career! I am faced with the challenge of never giving up, to keep moving till it comes to that point when I can boldly say beyond every reasonable doubt that “I need a wife”.

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Perhaps, that makes sense to you now when I say some things…

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My name is George and I want to marry.

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#KingGeorge

#GracefulGeorge

Website: www.georgesdiary.com.ng | Social Media: @georgennad

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