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DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

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I talk about relationships sometimes because it is usually the road to marriage and it is usually the problem of young people! Wrong relationships have always given rise to wrong or failed marriage! 

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Just before you read on, even if he promised marriage, it doesn’t mean he will marry you! Don’t give your body to anyone because they mentioned marriage… If he haven’t married you, he shouldn’t touch you! If he says it is over, walk away ozigbo ozigbo… OK, let’s continue.

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I have had crush for some people sometimes… Beautiful girls, to be precised! I have been in relationship only couple of times and believe me, it wasn’t a good feeling!

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My kind fall in love with all my properties… When am done swimming in love, I come out with broken pieces of my heart and it really takes time to get them patched together. 

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As an introvert, I have never ever in my life walked up to a lady to tell her how much I like her and how much I want us to have a future together, how the relationship I last had years ago started is still unexplainable. I simply found myself in talking terms with her and then suddenly… I was drowning in ‘love’. The next thing I could remember was that I came out of the love-ocean with nothing aside the little pieces of my heart.

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Out of fear, I was afraid to fall in love again. Being a very emotional person, it can take a year or two to get over the departure of someone in my life. While in a relationship, I could have sleepless nights thinking on why she’s not picking my calls, why she wasn’t smiling when I met her in the afternoon, why she answered me coldly, why she didn’t call to say good night, why she didn’t reply my SMS, why she didn’t text me on my birthday, why she didn’t do this and that… I was just too much of a baby boy! 

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I was such a pity sight… Doing my best to be the best but realizing that a boy is always a boy! I had no real friends then, I just never wanted to divide my attention… I felt she needed my hundred percent attention! I was always worried over any little thing; I cry over her SMS box, I cry over boys who wave at her… I cry and bleed over her faults and defections! You can imagine! Tufiakwa!

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When it had become too much, I went to a quiet chapel and I said to God “I don’t want to fall in love anymore until I am ready to bear people’s weakness and departure from my life. Help me come out this mess… I didn’t create these emotions, Lord you did. Know how to do it!”

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It worked… Somehow, she left me. I felt I was going to die. I saw her when I close my eyes, she was all over my head that I even searched for drugs that could make me forget people. Nonsense!

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Lots of people including an aged man advised me to lure anyone am in relationship with to bed! According to them, I was feeling that way because I have never had sex. Hmmmm, the devil can always lie! I did not… I believe that’s how many people have entered the mess they found themselves in. They have told us that the best way to create a deep bond in a relationship is sex… Those are bunch of lies! I have seen lots of people especially ladies come to me to tell me stories of how their boyfriends or even guys who promised them marriage kick them out of their lives after they had sex with them! Sex doesn’t contribute anything to any premarital relationship… What builds relationship into marriage isn’t sex!

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And then suddenly… I realized I wasn’t ready for this! I realized I was too tender to be toying with my emotions. All the energy I had used in thinking about someone who later got married with kids could have been enough to improve my personality and develop myself. I had to count my teeth with my tongue, I had to sit down and decide what I wanted to do with my life! 

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For years, I have started developing myself to be a better person, to be a better man. It doesn’t mean I have become unemotional like a tree, I have been attracted to people sometimes, I have met wonderful people and I rather add them to my friends list. I sleep well, I have a clear mind and I am not afraid for words like “it’s over between us” anymore. I load recharge card and I use it well… Lol!

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In Matthew 1:18, the Bible is clear on the nature of Joseph’s relationship with Mary! Their relationship was clearly defined and they both knew they were getting married to each other! They were not in a relationship for nothing or for sex! I don’t get it when our young people make sex the reason for everything they do. Sex is something you will so much enjoy in your marriage and get tired of doing it! It makes no sense engaging in it now, it makes much more sense on your wedding night!

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A clearly defined godly relationship is a sweet one anyway… That’s where you should pray to find yourself! And if marriage isn’t in the definition then, I don’t see any reason to be courting someone who is not going to marry you. 

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I beg you… Don’t toy with your emotions! Don’t be in a fruitless relationship! 

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Relationships may be great! But never enter what you cannot handle. Lots of young people made great mistakes in life because they awakened certain desire before its time. Its like an addiction to something you cannot carry. 

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Courtship is not for boys or girls, it is for matured people who are ready and ripe for marriage. If you are not ready for marriage, don’t enter a relationship. If you’re still very young, you need great friends not a boy or a girl who takes control of your thoughts and alienate you from other friends! Lots of young Americans are committing suicide because of heartbreak, I have witnessed a young lady fall down from a storey building because her boyfriend called to say it was over! She died, her head smashed on the concrete floor and her brains were out! But her ex boyfriend lived on to find love somewhere else. Don’t awaken your emotions when you are not ready to bear certain things! 

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There is nothing wrong with relationship when it is clearly defined! And, if marriage is not in the picture of any relationship, my friends… Come out of it! Are you in a relationship with someone? Call him or her and ask “where are we heading with this relationship?” You need to know… Men can still lie to you about marriage, they may promise you marriage just to have you. You don’t decide by what they tell you and you don’t give them yourself simply because they mentioned marriage to you.

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Just like Joseph and Mary defined their relationship on time… Define yours now!

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We are getting ready! Share your thoughts!
#GracefulGeorge

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