*based on personal experience, interviews and research.
Young people have so much energy and their hormones are so active! They are likely to rush into sex when unguarded! No matter how moral they seem to be, there are situations where their moral abilities may fail them… Especially in matters regarding sex.
I started very early in the morning to talk about my Sweet Romance. Yes, that is one thing I value so much! I value my romance life above every other thing! Don’t get it twisted. You can read the article on The Sweet Romance. Then today again, I feel like talking about sex! Wait…. Don’t think it’s 18+, get your young ones. This will help them and their sexual lives.
I have come to realise that falling in love and walking in love are two different things! How do I mean? When you fall in love you can break your heart but when you walk in love, you’re ready for the outcome!
I will explain. To fall in love means to be overpowered by feelings of ecstasy and passion you have for someone who you also expect to have same feelings for you. One significant thing about falling in love is that it expects a lot in return and it often goes crazy when it’s expectations are not met! Most people who fall in love often want the other partner to prove they are feeling the same way. Now, it becomes a great task as virtually nothing apart from sex might be able to satisfy them! Truth is that, such love is not true, it is selfish as it is strongly centred on self! Every gift is expected to be reciprocated with something greater and therefore two people in love with each other goes beyond limit in order to convince the other of their loyalty.
Many young girls had their first sexual experience on this note. They did not want to have sex but they simply wanted to prove for their over demanding boyfriends that they really love and appreciate their care and attention. It is followed by a deep feeling of guilt and later by a sudden change of perception. They become more relaxed with sex! Such girls after they have moved to other relationships can mount pressure on their boyfriends to prove their love with sex. It is so true, Virgin girls don’t demand for sex. They are usually pressured into it. Virgin boys are more likely to willingly have sex without pressure than their female counterparts. On the other hand, many boys had their first sexual experience under manipulation by adult ladies or sexually active female friends.
It becomes very obvious that falling in love does not really mean true love is involved. Sometimes what we call love is the trick of emotions which manifested almost beyond the control of “free persons”. The English word for love is gotten from various Greek words which includes “Eros, Agape & Philia”. Have you ever wondered why your parents can say “I love you” and a next door admirer can still say the same thing and want to prove it differently? That is because all love is not the same. Some might say “I love you” but sincerely “I want to have sex with you, I admire you as a potential sex partner”
Young people have so much energy and their hormones are so active! They are likely to rush into sex when unguarded! No matter how moral they seem to be, there are situations where their moral abilities may fail them… Especially in matters regarding sex. The media is playing a major role in the promotion of sexual activities! Our movies, songs and stories are simply talking about sex as prove for friendship! No one cares what if means to people! No one is taking about true friendship anymore, everyone is now making it seem as if it must be about sex and giving… No more no less!
From my personal experience, I have never had sex with any of my female friends including very intimate ones. Religion played no part in that, it came as a result of the strict training I underwent as a kid. But then, I have been a serious victim of masturbation until Christ came in. The first time I kissed, it was under manipulation by a friend then who really wanted us to have sex. We kissed but I escaped sex! After that she kept me at arms length! She is the second person to keep me at arms length because I declined sex! She actually told people boldly that she doubt my potency! She said I am not a man! I want to say; don’t scare people into not having sex by telling them some scary stories about how they become possessed immediately they have sex! Such scary stories are often not true and when they realise that, they seem more reasons to engage in irrelevant sexual activities. It is good to explain with good reasons why it is irrelevant to prove love with sex!
Why all the long stories? Because I want you to understand that most times what we feel as love isn’t love at all or rather isn’t the kind of love we want it to be! Eros kind of love which is under exhibition by most persons is usually propelled by self satisfaction and greed! That is more reason why many loose their feelings after some moments of sexual encounter. You can only fall in love with the Eros kind of love. Let’s talk about the walking in love.
Those who walk in love are usually ready to bear the outcome of it. Their care is motivated by true love, they can give expecting nothing because they know they may not actually receive anything in return. Walking in love does not cause heart break even though there may be loads of disappointments. What do I mean? A girl who falls in love may be expecting marriage as the end product, she may give in her body and allow herself to be used for gratification but when she is disappointed, she move on with so much hate and unforgiveness. She will continue to miss the relationship not because of the person involved but because of what she might have gained from it which is marriage! She thinks about all the time she has yield to sex with someone who does not love her and she continues to experience depression! That is heart break! But someone who walks in love feels bad for being loved but it doesn’t make him or her stop loving… They will continue loving no matter what!
Some years ago, I bought a mobile phone for one of the girls in our forum, afterwards I also sponsored her on one of the projects we had. She felt I was trying to buy her emotions and she decided to talk it out with some other members. Then, from people’s confessions she realised that what I did for her was exactly what I do for some other people. And yes! I did it because I love them. Till date, I was never in any relationship with them. I am not trying to place myself above others! I have avoided sex with virtually all my friends because I knew it is bad for me to share a part of my life without someone who might not be there anymore.
Sometimes, the feelings are just there! I feel like I really need someone to share intimacy with, sometimes I feel like I really need to go extra miles to prove to people how much I love them and the temptations are just there moping at me. It is with knowledge that I am able to overcome. You can only apply what you know! And you better not involved in some activities that you may not be able to easily come out from! Once you have sex, it becomes hard to stop especially when you continued in it.
Let me tell you of one man who loves without condition. He is Jesus Christ. Even though the world loved him not, he loved the world. I was once confronted by a lady who said “if you love someone, sex is the most suitable way to prove it”. I don’t think so… I think there is no better way to prove how much you love people than just being who you are towards them. Sex is not necessarily a way to prove love! Sex is not love! Men and women have had sex with strangers on different basis with no string attached. Sex in marriage is relevant because love has led to a union that warrants it but outside marriage it is usually based on greed and not love!
As a human, I have had number of feelings for people and I am still trying to get over one now. Many times I see myself expecting equal attention and care from such persons but then I ask myself again “do I need to force people on myself? Do they really need to see me the way I see them?…. Let’s just walk in love!”
It’s not easy but it makes life easier. I also believe you can get to live more free and better when you understand that there is someone who loves you more than your boy/girl friend. If you can believe and trust him, you can experience him. Some of my readers are atheists, I will also urge you to give Jesus a try. He simply loves you even when you don’t love him.
Come on! Let’s walk in love and make the world a better place!
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