I love talking about friendship, relationships and love. That is because I want people to understand my radical view on the subjects. I don’t end in talking the talk! I continue by doing the “do” Lol! That is so true of me! People who have been very close to me can also testify of that, what I say about love and friendship is exactly what I do! God’s grace is there! I do not boast but am bold to say that right from conception to this moment, no lady will stand to testify against me being guilty of what I preach concerning friendships. God started preparing me for this course on time, through some rigid experience I had, I have learnt what love is and what friendships should be. I believe it was His power that held me on that and not my power. My power is so limited!
Happiness in friendships should not be derived out of SELF motivation, it shouldn’t be generated by self. Happiness in friendships ought to be a derivation of other person’s happiness. Any happiness derived from plundering, destroying and using the other person is devilish and not a true definition of happiness in friendships. Any friend that derives pleasure from the displeasure of another is a thorn in the flesh!
I have come across guys, many of them, who only derives happiness from forcing their girlfriends to get sexually active, I have come across people who define happiness in a relationship as when a lady agrees to dance to their lustful tunes or when a guy becomes a financial “idiot” for a lady. But I have also see people who understands the meaning of friendship! They become happy when the other person is happy. Happiness in friendship therefore must be mutually initiated in love! It hurts me to see a friend get hurt, but I don’t sit down and share in the pain alone! I try to ease off the victim’s pains so that I can drive happiness from the other person’s smiles. That is where helping people with good intentions comes in.
Like I said in my previous post. Friendship is not love, it is a commitment driven by love anyway. Love is for everybody but some kind of commitments is for some special person’s in your life just like much commitment is shown in marriage. That is to say; all love must give but not all givers are lovers!
That commitment itself is not love, though it is driven by love or by lust. Some becomes a friend simply because they want to have their own share of your body or your pocket, such people can only be happy for what they want and not for what you want, they can help you out of a problem just because they want to gain your heart and have their way, you can see that their commitment to your life is not on your own interest but theirs… So it is lustfully powered! But there are other people whose commitment to your life is powered by true love! They become your friends because they truly want the best for you and not simply because you are beautiful or handsome (that is just a bonus), you see them forgive you on numerous basis, you see them help you as if helping you increases their life, they never demand for a payback! They don’t even hope for a payback! They always show up when you need them and they love to be needed! Such people are very few! But they do exist! In fact many of them are committed to people’s lives and not just a girlfriend’s life!
I am always burdened when I see people get themselves involved in the wrong kind of affairs and claim it is friendship. It pains me seeing young promising girls risk their lives for an ingrate and drunk who only wants them for their pleasures. It pains me so much that if I can interfere, I will! But if you can read my post, go through them and apply the lessons… You’ll not encounter so much mistakes!
Wow! I love girls who understands and believes in themselves! I love people who are strong enough to take their stand and say “no” to the “lust-driven friendships”.
Never give in to someone who wants to dictate your happiness and delight in your displeasure! Don’t be too quick to be in an intimate relationship! Enjoy the joy of mutual friendships before making up your mind! As old as I am, I don’t have a girlfriend! Having said that, I don’t mean to say I don’t have female friends, I have best friends (male&female) but I have not endorsed anybody as my “girl”. Not that marriage is not in the view… I am already working on my marriage and that is more reason why I need God’s direction in the things of friendship rather than rush into an affair that will make me loose concentration. I would love you to take that decision too… Learn to meet people, don’t lock up your emotions into someone’s hands. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, I don’t mean to say you took the wrong decision but you shouldn’t let that relationship cut you off from others and from your commitments to God.
Friendship does not end… But romantic affairs may cease to exist! Some of my female friends are happily married and we are still friends, I mean, there was no string attached before and so nothing could probably be the problem now. Some of my female friends could tell me about the unbearable problems they have with their boyfriends and I smile inside me, feeling glad am not a victim of such emotional challenges. Just in case you are in a relationship and you seem to be having problems between yourselves, look watch out for my post on ” Gender Differences ”