Dear Girls,

I was going down to Onitsha town (eastern part of Nigeria) one morning and I sat in the Keke (tricycle) along with two married men, the Keke driver who also is a married man and an aged woman.

At first, there discussion was of no interest to me as I never listened. What got my attention was when the aged woman began to talk in defense of the female folks. I later learnt what caused the woman’s uproar.

The men had accused women of contributing to almost all the problems every husband is facing. One of the men said his father is in a critical condition simply because of his mother and I wondered what would have been the man’s case if he really had no mother. They claimed the presence of a woman in every home attracts the devil! The men also said women are never to be trusted or loved; they said a man needs to have some level of secrecy for their wives. As the woman in the Keke tried defending the females they even insulted her and said “all women are evil by default”.

What baffled me was that these men were all strangers to themselves and yet they were all making the same claims. This had shown me how much of our men who are not really MEN-ENOUGH, who are highly irresponsible, who are so wicked and callous towards our women. They said a woman must be open to the husband but that the husband needs not to be open to the wife. They said women are only married as domestic animals or maids and they have no contributions to make in a man’s life. They said a woman can be handled whichever way the husband chooses to. Right there, tears wanted to run down my cheeks as I wondered the ordeals the wives of these men must be facing.

I believe these men must have actually wooed their wives with the word “love”, they must have tried and applied their best tactics to get the attention of whoever they married.

Sweethearts, do not let any man confuse you with marriage or friendship. Many of these boys and men see you as nothing! At first, they will be flocking around you, telling you how much they cannot do without you, telling how you have been the sugar in their tea! I beg you; refuse to be the sugar in any man’s tea. Tea is more important than the sugar! Refuse to be butter in any man’s bread! Tea can be taken without sugar, bread can be taken without butter. That means they see many ladies as something of less importance. Refuse to be a mere flavor to any man’s life!

I am sure you may find it difficult finding that right man but do not judge people by the amount of gifts they buy, the number of times they call you on phone and the number of times they message you. The right man for you is that man who is helping you bring out the best of you! The man who has refused to be an obstacle between you and God! The right man takes your relationship with God the priority! The right man wants you to be a great woman and not a woman who will be subjected to the kitchen alone! The right man respects your body and your decisions.

Sweethearts, personally develop yourselves mentally through being sincere to yourself and to God. Be a role model of decency and be that woman whose voice will be heard in all nations! Have a dream to be a woman that will shake the world, have a vision that makes you that woman you dream of! Never let your emotions play pranks on you! Never fall in for something you never wanted to do. Never allow any man to take the advantage of your emotions to lure you into immoralities!

You are too beautiful to be neglected; you are too special to be treated like nobody! Unlike the wives of those men, be a woman that the husband cannot maltreat or overlook! Never disrespect any man but never allow any man to disrespect you! You are too good to follow the footsteps of Delilah! You are too strong to depend on any man! Just be dependent on God. Love yourself and pursue your beautiful career with passion! Ensure to love the Lord and He will make you BECOME A RARE WOMAN!

From your brother and friend
George Onyedika Nnadozie

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